Study: Pets Listen Better than Husbands

According to the study, a full one third of all women think pets listen better.

Including a crayfish.

But do you really need a post on this one?

Of course, pets listen better than husbands.  First, of all, they have much better hearing, picking out the sliding sound that a cat food can makes coming off the shelf and what lawn mower?  Men can only pick out the sound a six-pack makes landing on the counter and in the middle of the first quarter.

Mostly, though, it is the questions directed to the recipient:  And worse, the answers expected.  Do women expect their pets to answer in complete phrases?  A wag of the tail seems acceptable for any dog; a snout wrinkle for a pig; a blank look for a cat.

Husbands, over time, have experimented with complex gestures, like palms and shoulders up; pleasant expressions like a smile; or single word all-purpose responses, like "fine", all with limited success.

Does a turtle have to worry that "beautiful" will be rejoined with "As beautiful as that little Megan at the Olive Garden?"  Turtles can seem to take their time to answer, as well.  Husbands have, maybe, a nano-second.

Sample questions from the study:

Pet:  Do you want to go pooh-pooh?
Husband:  This black pump or... this black pump?

Pet:  Do you like flaky salmon?
Husband:  So, do you like cold Tuna Helper?

Pet:  Do you love mama?
Husband:  Will you still love me when I can't wear five inch heels?

Pets:  Do you like "Gossip Girl", too?
Husband:  Why, exactly, do you like "Gossip Girl"?

Pet:  Isn't Daddy an asshole for forgetting his anniverary?
Husband:  You can't remember one lousy day a year, you asshole?

Pet:  Sit on mama's lap?
Husband:  And where was that lap during Happy Hour?

Pet:  I know you won't say anything to Daddy, right?
Husband:  Why can't you talk to me?

Pet:  Do you want to go outside?
Husband:  Do you want to sleep in the driveway?

So.  Reverse the questions and see how much that damned pet listens.

And are they sure it was only 33%?