Supreme Court: A Cross is Almost Pagan

At the Supreme Court, that's what Tony ("That's-Why-The-Other-Guy's-Scaley") Kennedy basically wrote in his majority opinion.  The cross in question is in Middle of Nowhere, California, erected as part of a memorial to WWI's fallen.

The VFW put it up ages ago, when the US was still a Christian country. At the time, everyone knew what it meant and loved it, not that they ever saw the thing, it being in the Mojave Desert. You had as much chance of seeing that cross as a Wampanoag does a thousand wind turbines off Nantucket on a foggy day.

The cross is only a little taller than Megan Fox who you would miss completely if she were wearing flats...  Okay.  The cross is not even as high as, even if as inert as, Nichole Kidman's forehead.

The problem lay in its desert home being on public land, that is, land owned by The Government.  Now, had the land been owned by Arizona, we would not be talking about it at all, that state being beyond constitutional enforcement.

Some atheist federal judges from WhereElseButt, California, perhaps projecting their own guilt, said that, in the late, late afternoon, when the sun is low, you can make out a shadow that looks like Jesus' big toe way low down on the the cross.

(Oh, don't go planning a pilgrimage already! It's poetic license.)

The upshot is that the judges ordered the cross covered with Chinese Drywall, because no will use the boatloads of it sitting in Long Beach and, come on, like it can hurt Jesus.

It fell to the few remaining Christians in California to come up with a scheme to molify the judges.  The goverment would sell the hillock with the cross impaled on it to a non-government, maybe one of those free-speech loving corporation Justice Tony loves so much.  The rogue circuit judges were not fooled one bit and did everything but nail up the drywall themselves.

The Christians looked at the Supreme Court of the United States and liked their chances at 5 to 4.  A lot.

Justice Tony, perhaps with Scaley's whispering, figured it out.  The cross wasn't about Christianity at all.  The cross was Latin, the Roman culture before Sophia Loren.  This was the culture that crucified malcontents for kicks thirty  years before Christmas Day went wholesale; the culture that put Spartacus, Tony Curtis and so many of their slave army up on crosses they had to use Velcro.

The cross is an ancient, way-pre-Christian symbol evoking all the thousands of miniture pre-Christian crosses planted across Europe where Ameican soldiers were buried in presumably Latin ceremonies after de-empiring the Germans.  Those small Latin crosses were only used to define the uncountable rows and photograph really well.  Nobody's religion, or lack thereof, was involved.

And besides, Tony (the Justice not the Curtis) says, the cross would be someone's private property before anyone actually saw Jesus' shadowy if sacred big toe and built a church around it.