Illegals Now Really Illegal in Arizona

Finally.  A state takes the toro by the horns and makes it illegal to be illegal.

Arizona, long known hereabouts as the Virgina of the Southwest, has dared to go where no state could get the votes to go.  Its House passed a bill, one that largely matched State Senator Russ Pearce's February effort, in making it illegal as all hell to be in Arizona if you are illegally in Arizona.

It will be a serious misdemeanor to be walking down the street without your Casablanca... er ... Arizona internal Letters of Transit, stamped by Governor Strasser himself.  I mean, Brewer.  Specifically, an alien must carry these papers to prove his/her registration as an alien.

It is unclear if a real Arizonian can walk down the street without Letters of Transit.  Or a flooded-out refugee alien from, say, Rhode Island.  And TBO had better get his letters of transit, too, in case he changes planes in Phoenix on the way to receive an honorary Oscar for his stunningly realistic portrayal of the Cheshire Cat in "Alice's Tea Party 3D".

We all know that anyone stopped by the KGB had to produce some sort of papers to stay off a train headed for Siberia.  Presumably, Arizona is striving for similar effectiveness, but with the much prettier Painted Dessert.  Misdemeanor processing camps will soon be built there using old gulag blueprints from Sen. Russ' own collection.

Arizona cops, from the state police driving the desert to the assistant meter maids in Mesa can arrest any alien unable to produce the Letters of Transit and throw them in hoosegow (conveniently derived from the Spanish word "juzgado", so all illegals will understand what's in store for them).

Even real Arizonians had better be careful, as it will be illegal to drive around town with an alien not having Letters of Transit (perhaps this is where the very name comes from).  If you see some poor fellow who's Lexus SUV has flipped over, do not stop to help unless you can actually read the papers he is waving madly at you.

Arizona will have to issue regulations to provide guidelines and tips for its illegals enforcement professionals in how to ask for Letters of Transit in the first place.  Knowing what hoosegow is in Spanish will first among the shortcuts.  If Russ were to ask other real Arizonians, they could probably put together a list of guaranteed illegal indicators in five minutes.

Most real Americans would only know to start with "probably a shortstop".  After that, we're stumped. Maybe accents could count, so Antonio Banderas and Penelope Cruz should stay in Spain for now.  Any Australian would be better off on that spooky island in "Lost" than in Tombstone. And Confederate Governor Haley Barbour might want to stay in Mississippi until he gets some Letters filled out for him. 

Oh.  The Letters of Transit applications, and their twenty pages of instructions,  will be only in English and, of course, the original German.