What to do with Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonin Scalia?
I mean, as in, he needs a nickname for this blog. We can't call him Tony, since that is already taken by the corporate-free-speech guy on the Court. And, really, Ninny doesn't seem right for such a brilliant Originalist.
So I have come up with Scaley. Get it, as in the scale of justice, there being only the one on the right these days.
But then there is Scaly, which appears to be a funny-looking synonym for Scaley. I know. I looked them both up on the Internet. Which to use? I could have a popular vote on the choice, but the Justice would probably block the count. So, I'll go with Scaley.
I don't know what Scaley's friends call him, because he and I are not close. Who knows what his Court colleagues call him, especially behind closed chamber doors, That's not the point, of course, because he needs a public nickname for my blog so that my ADHD readers won't have to read more than three syllables. And I'll bet his nickname will be coming up a lot.
As recently as last week, Scaley was in the news guaranteeing that no state, like the Palin-Free-State of Alaska could sue to secede from the Union. Most of you probably don't care about a union or know what secession is, but Scaley noted Generals Lee and Grant resolved that problem judiciously and for all time at Appomattox Court House in April of 1865.
While a top judge like Scaley would not necessarily have to endorse a decision at a country courthouse, Appomattox Court House is not a courthouse and is not in the town of Appomattox. Not that Scaley said it was either of those things. His point was that the secessionists lost their argument and their almost-country fair and bloody square.
So, if Scaley is in the middle of an issue from 1865, he will be newsworthy, even blogworthy, today or next week and, thus, must be nicknamed. I'm sure he won't object to the moniker. It is well known that the Justice has a great sense of humor and can really take a joke. He and his pals can even take one and make it... well, pretty important for eight years.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
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