So, It's Not Just Iranian Space Worms

Iran fooled us all.  At least me.  Their storied missile launch was not just about a mouse, two turtles and a peck of worms.  Perhaps, the turtles should have tipped me off.  It ends up that the mission was about Gmail, too.

As in no more Gmail in Iran.

The Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad didn't mention Gmail in his earlier comments about the space shot.  Even Google probably didn't know.  Ejad (as he is sometimes called from now on and pronounced "Egad") wants Iranians to use only home-grown technologies, like nuclear warheads, space worms and, now, SpaceTurtleMail.

Obviously.

Ejad sent the turtles up in the non-worm side of the space capsule to run a communication satellite as the hub of Iran's new email service.  Turtles Bill and Karolyn Slowsky are already well known in the US Web circles as spokesshells for DSL internet connections. 

While there is no Persian patent protection for turtle-based communications, there could be a trademark problem for Iran.  However, it is reported that Ejad intends to fold trademark negotiations into those for forcing most Israelis to swim to Malta, uranium highly-enrichment and Iran's new historic claim on seaside property in Thermopylae, Greece.  It has been a while, but this latest claim was recently renewed after the worldwide interest in "300 Spartans", who did lose the place two-and-a-half thousand years ago to a pre-Ejad Iranian with an easy, short name, Xerxes, and the Greeks are too broke to develop condos there anyway.

With the advent of SpaceTurtleMail, Iranians will not need Gmail anymore, so Ejad just turned it off a day or two ahead of time.  If it lives up to the Ejad's promises, SpaceTurtleMail will give the Iranians a better sense of community, a calmer pace to life, an abhorrence of protest marches and trust in their leadership, especially Ejad.  A guy who gives you free email service, no matter who slow going to and from a satellite, has to be your BFF.

And, you know what?  This best friend will forever listen.