New Politics Power: The Blood Party Arises

The Tea Party (formerly Tea-Baggers, whatever that may have originally meant to them) and now the Coffee Party are shaking up American politics.  They probably stand for things, if not actual tea-bagging, but most people only know of them because of the cool names.  Everybody drinks coffee and some effete drink tea, unless it is Iced Tea or Long Island Iced Tea, both of which some of us drink ourselves, in varying proportions.  (Right now, actually.)

Both The Tea Party and The Coffee Party want action out of our politicians.  Good luck with that and have some more caffeine.

Well, there is a new, more powerful movement underway, one that gives the hair-shaking jitters to politicians and leaves party members with steadier clenched fists.

It is not here in America.  Yet.

At least one Blog calls it The Blood Party.  If it sounds like the latest Megan Fox movie, it isn't.  It started in Thailand, where protesters are gathering up liters of blood, since they don't have gallons.  They then splatter the blood all over a politicians house or car.  If it sounds like PETA gone wild, that's because it is.  Of course, we all know about blood splatter from the folks on "CSI", but this is blood spatter on steroids, more like Jack the Ripper painting Whitechapel not white.

Or, maybe, AIDS.

Yep, Thailand has AIDS, however successfully it has rammed condoms down... uh... worked to reduce it.  Can you imagine taking the chance that your blood-covered Lexus is AIDS-free?  You'd just let it speed away on its own.  As it is very likely to do anyway.

The Thais are very civilized people and starred in "The King and I" before most of you were born.  If they think a blood party is good politics, who are we to doubt.

I am confident that this country can supply a hell of a lot more blood than Thais can.  We have blood banks all over the place and Blood Party charter members will be required to give a gallon a month (probably not all at once) to build up a symbolic free speech offensive capability that would put Justice Scaley's corporate free-speakers to shame.  Party members could set up coffee tables (how ironic) in their neighborhoods to take blood and sell strong Iced Tea (doubly ironic) along with lemonade.  Don't forget, drug addicts, homeless, illegal aliens, children and hemophiliacs are everywhere, too, and can be encouraged to donate by any decent sized, syringe-yielding... uh... party.

Using untainted blood is safer, but safer is what has stuck us these present stuck-in-their-own-muck politicians.  The Blood Party should go with tainted blood, at least at first.  AIDS is good.  Hep C.  Ebola.  Whatever.  The worse the taint, the more potent the political statement.

But maybe get your second best friend in the Blood Party to actually deliver the splatter.