St. RiK: ObamaDontCare to Socialize The Blues

That screech you hear? It is not some 10-Percenter tooting his own political horn. It is a bona fide, if second-hand whistle-blower blowing on a grand scale. Presidential and Papal candidate St. RiK Santorum has taken up the banter that the Right-Right Reverend James Dobson waved at some lucky congregation recently.

Rev. Jimmy seems to have gotten a phone call from an undisclosed aide of Jesus warning of the impending Obama plan to nationalize an historic Capitalist business, the healthcare Blue Man Death & Denial Squads.

The Blue Man Death & Denial Squads, as everybody knows, are central to the business of tax-break subsidized, non-but-really-for-profit Blue Cross franchisees across America. Blue Cross may have trademarked the terms Blue Man and Death & Denial Squads, but they use the melancholy yet sympathetic sounding “the Blues” when handing down their sentences.

ObamaDontCare has found that spending money to actually treat pre-existing patients and old people with strokes sucks the big... a lot. President TB0's minions, therefor, devised a scheme to seize the entire The Blues structure. It will then force The Blues to review costs on Medicare and Medicaid patients to make damned sure that TB0 will not have to beg the X, Y and Z Generations and the 1% for more frakkin' cash for dubious life-savings. Assuming street-corpse removal costs do not increase too much, the Federal Deficit may once again plunge toward the trillion mark.

President TB0 has not responded to St. RiK or the Right-Right Rev. What, he'll admit more Socialism in an election year? Otherwise, he'd be stuck with a DENIAL. And how electable would that sound?

Still. It is coming. But before you get too upset with TB0's latest Marxist grab, figure this into the equation: The Blue Crosses would be left with no Blue Man Death & Denial Squads to dither about your mom's trephining or dad's stenting; they would simply reject all future insurance applications and pleas for treatment without opening an email or envelope; thus they would dramatically improve efficiency, reduce whimsy and drive non-profits ever higher.

Even Socialism has its Capitalist silver lining.

I See Dead People

And Salvation!

The USA doesn't make much anymore.  Our TV's come from the Far East and that doesn't mean Newark.  Most of our cars are shipped in from the same Far East or even Canada.  We don't make most of our drugs, including crystal meth.

We have trade and budget deficits that make Fannie Mae look solvent.  We have transferred most of our non-Bourbon wealth to China.

Who doesn't want any more of our dollars or T-Bills or -Notes or -Bonds, steroids or not.

The Loonie in Canada and the Wallabie (if that what they call their formerly-80-cent-Dollar) in Australia are worth more than the US Trillion Dollar Bill with TB0's winning grin on it.

But, now, that dismal story is over.  And do you know why?

China.

Yes, that place with 1.gazillion people.  They've got a huge problem and we are the very large answer.

They have dead people.

So? you  say. Here, we call it n+ stage ObamaCare.  Every country has...  Oh.

That's right.  China, by virtue of having all those live people, has an overwhelming domestic problem.  According to USA Today, 9 Million burials a year.  Burials.  The Chinese are very traditional, respectful people and now they have the money to bury their loved ones instead of clandestinely scattering ashes on North Korea.

Only, all that money doesn't buy cemeteries.  Those things take up a whole lot of ground.

Hello.  China.  Far West.  Lots of gournd there.  Ever see Wyoming.  Hell,Virgina's got lots of tobacco-less scrub just waiting to grow all Mandarin.

So, America sells some of its from-sea-to-shining-sea subsurface clay to its bereaved friends in the Far East.  Think of the mortourism(tm).  How about outside Vegas?  It's not like they'll be building houses out in the desert for the next hundred years.  Hotels, funeral homes, Ghost Whisperer theme parks.

Headstone manufacture... okay. Curb your enthusiasm.  But all the service business, what we do best.  Or only.

And, the best part, for TB0 and the Chinese Fed (honest, they call it that but more graphically):  We'll take all those US Government Bonds piled up in Beijing filing cabinets as payment.  Happily.

At a 32% discount.

We're America.  We're not dead yet.