And Salvation!
The USA doesn't make much anymore. Our TV's come from the Far East and that doesn't mean Newark. Most of our cars are shipped in from the same Far East or even Canada. We don't make most of our drugs, including crystal meth.
We have trade and budget deficits that make Fannie Mae look solvent. We have transferred most of our non-Bourbon wealth to China.
Who doesn't want any more of our dollars or T-Bills or -Notes or -Bonds, steroids or not.
The Loonie in Canada and the Wallabie (if that what they call their formerly-80-cent-Dollar) in Australia are worth more than the US Trillion Dollar Bill with TB0's winning grin on it.
But, now, that dismal story is over. And do you know why?
China.
Yes, that place with 1.gazillion people. They've got a huge problem and we are the very large answer.
They have dead people.
So? you say. Here, we call it n+ stage ObamaCare. Every country has... Oh.
That's right. China, by virtue of having all those live people, has an overwhelming domestic problem. According to USA Today, 9 Million burials a year. Burials. The Chinese are very traditional, respectful people and now they have the money to bury their loved ones instead of clandestinely scattering ashes on North Korea.
Only, all that money doesn't buy cemeteries. Those things take up a whole lot of ground.
Hello. China. Far West. Lots of gournd there. Ever see Wyoming. Hell,Virgina's got lots of tobacco-less scrub just waiting to grow all Mandarin.
So, America sells some of its from-sea-to-shining-sea subsurface clay to its bereaved friends in the Far East. Think of the mortourism(tm). How about outside Vegas? It's not like they'll be building houses out in the desert for the next hundred years. Hotels, funeral homes, Ghost Whisperer theme parks.
Headstone manufacture... okay. Curb your enthusiasm. But all the service business, what we do best. Or only.
And, the best part, for TB0 and the Chinese Fed (honest, they call it that but more graphically): We'll take all those US Government Bonds piled up in Beijing filing cabinets as payment. Happily.
At a 32% discount.
We're America. We're not dead yet.
Showing posts with label China. Show all posts
Showing posts with label China. Show all posts
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Monday, March 22, 2010
China to Design the Rope, Too
As Alan Greenspan would tell you, Capitalism is better than Communism. That's because even a really dumb CEO is smarter than all non-executive proletarians combined. However, true that may be, the Reds have the best quote: "Them Stinkin' Capitalists will design, manufacture and sell us the rope with which we will hang them." More or less, and attributed to Marx, Lenin, Trotsky, The Big O or anyone else who would actually use "with which" in a pithy quote.
Don't we wish it were still so.
Which brings us to Applied Material, its CEO, Mark Pinto, and some really high tech "rope", microprocessor and solar fabrication equipment. Don't quibble; it's an analogy to be wrapped up at the end of this piece.
Applied Materials is setting up a major league lab in China. Not just any lab, but one of the most advanced in its high tech field and one that comes complete with serious Silicon Valley corporate overhead.
The city of Xi'an, the New York Times tells us, has landed the newest and largest Applied Materials research labs, including its top solar lab; its annual shareholders meeting; and its CEO, Mark Pinto. Mark is moving his whole family to China next year.
Xi'an is not as fluky as that name, which means some sort of "peace", like the kind that comes after you've lost a war, either. It is an old city and was a capital various dynasties if not the current Communist (you already forgot it's still Communist) version. The very first Chinese Emperor set a ludicrously high standard for Xi'an from day one. He fabricated 8000 Terracotta soldiers, fitted out with chariots and horses, to amuse himself and terrify any invading statues.
Xi'an didn't sit still, even if its army did. It was at the eastern end of the historic east-west trade route, the Silk Road, which was either paved with silk, traveled slowly by worms or carried silk negligees and matching rope for bedposts off to the west.
The city now has 47 schools of higher education and cranks out armies of real, fast moving engineers quite happy to make less than your Wal Mart greeter. Are Chinese smart enough to be good design engineers? You haven't been on a US college campus lately or you would know who teaches most of our engineering students their math and physics.
Applied Research has no qualms and has bet big money on Chinese expertise. Each of the Xi'an Applied Research labs is huge. Each is designed to be bigger than two football fields, a measurement totally lost on the Xi'an Chinese who are more used to watching Team Terracotta playing FoosBall for the last 2200 years.
Pure coincidence? Applied Materials is cutting its workforce in the Capitalist countries of America and Europe by at least 10% over eighteen months.
Mark Pinto's Applied Research isn't alone in putting top research facilities in China. Intel has done it for all of its three mainline research programs. GM has done it (I know, I know). IBM's been there for 15 years already. Get used to it. High Tech design and other intellectual property jobs are heading over to China now that all the other jobs are already there.
You may be too young to recall Ross Perot's Giant (Job) Sucking Sound caused by NAFTA, but this China thing barely makes any noise at all any more.
But, hey, you will always have our jobs at Wal Mart. If you are tri-lingual.
Okay, the rope, which you can buy at Wal Mart on your break.
The famous rope quote may be really good, but it's an antique. We haven't made the rope for years. The Communists in China have been making the rope and shipping it back to us. At least, we used to design the rope that our CEO's would sell. Well, it looks like that part is almost over. Once the Chinese design the rope, too, they won't need a Mark Pinto, either. They'll just sell the rope, that they designed, manufactured and warehoused directly to themselves.
Where do Capitalists fit in that scenario? It's all neatly tied up. Except for the hanging.
Don't we wish it were still so.
Which brings us to Applied Material, its CEO, Mark Pinto, and some really high tech "rope", microprocessor and solar fabrication equipment. Don't quibble; it's an analogy to be wrapped up at the end of this piece.
Applied Materials is setting up a major league lab in China. Not just any lab, but one of the most advanced in its high tech field and one that comes complete with serious Silicon Valley corporate overhead.
The city of Xi'an, the New York Times tells us, has landed the newest and largest Applied Materials research labs, including its top solar lab; its annual shareholders meeting; and its CEO, Mark Pinto. Mark is moving his whole family to China next year.
Xi'an is not as fluky as that name, which means some sort of "peace", like the kind that comes after you've lost a war, either. It is an old city and was a capital various dynasties if not the current Communist (you already forgot it's still Communist) version. The very first Chinese Emperor set a ludicrously high standard for Xi'an from day one. He fabricated 8000 Terracotta soldiers, fitted out with chariots and horses, to amuse himself and terrify any invading statues.
Xi'an didn't sit still, even if its army did. It was at the eastern end of the historic east-west trade route, the Silk Road, which was either paved with silk, traveled slowly by worms or carried silk negligees and matching rope for bedposts off to the west.
The city now has 47 schools of higher education and cranks out armies of real, fast moving engineers quite happy to make less than your Wal Mart greeter. Are Chinese smart enough to be good design engineers? You haven't been on a US college campus lately or you would know who teaches most of our engineering students their math and physics.
Applied Research has no qualms and has bet big money on Chinese expertise. Each of the Xi'an Applied Research labs is huge. Each is designed to be bigger than two football fields, a measurement totally lost on the Xi'an Chinese who are more used to watching Team Terracotta playing FoosBall for the last 2200 years.
Pure coincidence? Applied Materials is cutting its workforce in the Capitalist countries of America and Europe by at least 10% over eighteen months.
Mark Pinto's Applied Research isn't alone in putting top research facilities in China. Intel has done it for all of its three mainline research programs. GM has done it (I know, I know). IBM's been there for 15 years already. Get used to it. High Tech design and other intellectual property jobs are heading over to China now that all the other jobs are already there.
You may be too young to recall Ross Perot's Giant (Job) Sucking Sound caused by NAFTA, but this China thing barely makes any noise at all any more.
But, hey, you will always have our jobs at Wal Mart. If you are tri-lingual.
Okay, the rope, which you can buy at Wal Mart on your break.
The famous rope quote may be really good, but it's an antique. We haven't made the rope for years. The Communists in China have been making the rope and shipping it back to us. At least, we used to design the rope that our CEO's would sell. Well, it looks like that part is almost over. Once the Chinese design the rope, too, they won't need a Mark Pinto, either. They'll just sell the rope, that they designed, manufactured and warehoused directly to themselves.
Where do Capitalists fit in that scenario? It's all neatly tied up. Except for the hanging.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Dogs and Cats on China Government Menu
Maybe in not the way you'd expect, though. Sure, you can eat Siamese chops or Cocker Spaniel with tofu (double yum) in many Chinese cities, but the government is considering pulling the tasty treats off the menu.
For the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese government ordered all dog meat off the menus and local puppy chow stalls in the markets. If nothing else, this act proved the Chinese understand the sensitivity of the issue. Americans, for example, don't like to eat pet food unless they are on Social Security.
Chinese pet meat vendors claim that they are, in fact, not pet meat vendors. They certainly wouldn't eat their own pets, as that would be uncivilized. They only butcher those raised on canine and feline farms or ranches, although, they allow, you shouldn't let your dog out without a leash.
Farms? Ranches? Yep.
I don't know how you farm a cat or force march a herd of dogs (just try that with cats) overland to the Chinese equivalent of Abilene or Dodge City, but apparently the Chinese do. Is there a John Wayne-like movie playing in Guangzhou with a long dusty mutt drive and the strained emotions and bean side-effects that go with it? Instead of "Red River" they get "Yellow River"?
Should we all jump on a plane and travel 20 hours to see--and eat the fruits of---this charming bit of Chinese history before it is outlawed everywhere but Korea? Well, maybe just hearing about it is enough of a thrill.
But don't forget when your job moves you to Shanghai: When we American's hear "It's raining cats and dogs", we reach for an umbrella. In China, for now, anyway, you reach for a fork.
For the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese government ordered all dog meat off the menus and local puppy chow stalls in the markets. If nothing else, this act proved the Chinese understand the sensitivity of the issue. Americans, for example, don't like to eat pet food unless they are on Social Security.
Chinese pet meat vendors claim that they are, in fact, not pet meat vendors. They certainly wouldn't eat their own pets, as that would be uncivilized. They only butcher those raised on canine and feline farms or ranches, although, they allow, you shouldn't let your dog out without a leash.
Farms? Ranches? Yep.
I don't know how you farm a cat or force march a herd of dogs (just try that with cats) overland to the Chinese equivalent of Abilene or Dodge City, but apparently the Chinese do. Is there a John Wayne-like movie playing in Guangzhou with a long dusty mutt drive and the strained emotions and bean side-effects that go with it? Instead of "Red River" they get "Yellow River"?
Should we all jump on a plane and travel 20 hours to see--and eat the fruits of---this charming bit of Chinese history before it is outlawed everywhere but Korea? Well, maybe just hearing about it is enough of a thrill.
But don't forget when your job moves you to Shanghai: When we American's hear "It's raining cats and dogs", we reach for an umbrella. In China, for now, anyway, you reach for a fork.
Monday, February 8, 2010
CIC or Now Get that Biggish Bonus
Today must a day for short posts. This will thrill some critics of this blog who suggest that the posts--and indeed, the very sentences--are too long and complicated for any reader who has, say, a longish walk on his or her schedule, longish being open to interpretation. (And I do, too, take criticism well. If it is any damned good.)
Anyway. To the topic:
The Chinese are buying our stuff. That's a switch, isn't it? Only, they are not buying our stuff at our Walmarts or Dell. The China Investment Corp., CIC for the ADHD'ers out there, is buying biggish (subject to interpretation) chunks of some biggish US, if multinational, companies. Figure Coke, Johnson & Johnson, Apple, Motorola (especially after a certain ad during the Super Bowl) and even your plastic best friend,Visa.
China's CIC is what we call a Sovereign Wealth Fund and it is stocked with about $300 Billion. And that would be in US dollars, because the Chinese are swimming in them. And looking about for a shore to land on.
The CIC is like a Politburo-owned Warren Buffet. They have plunked lots of dollars in this fund and can dump more in any time they want. Getting Dollars into the fund is not the problem. It is how fast can they get the damned Bucks out without trashing the value and drubbing their own reserve in a Megan Fox-sized bathtub. So, buying top-of-the-heap (I chose my words carefully) US companies seems like the next best thing after over-printing Dollars with Yuans or, maybe, feeding them into a bonfire.
Do you hear the Republican shouting of "Socialism" about this CIC Sovereign Wealth Fund?
No. But relax, they're already Communists, which is like the Barry Bonds of Socialists. They make TBO look like Sarah Palin. Except smart. And it's not like it's the Red Army buying up the Yankees or something.
Personally, I think the latest news puts this CIC business into a cheerful perspective. Sure, the idea that the Chinese may end up owning all of Walmart is intimidating, but CIC has also been buying up shards of Citi, Morgan Stanley and Bank of America, which, among other things,will let the Chinese speak freely about making their cherished hope of making The First Dude into The First Lad.
Maybe that free speech angle isn't great, but you know what trumps it all?
Guess who has to ask the Chinese Communist Party for their Billion Dollar Bonus payouts?
Anyway. To the topic:
The Chinese are buying our stuff. That's a switch, isn't it? Only, they are not buying our stuff at our Walmarts or Dell. The China Investment Corp., CIC for the ADHD'ers out there, is buying biggish (subject to interpretation) chunks of some biggish US, if multinational, companies. Figure Coke, Johnson & Johnson, Apple, Motorola (especially after a certain ad during the Super Bowl) and even your plastic best friend,Visa.
China's CIC is what we call a Sovereign Wealth Fund and it is stocked with about $300 Billion. And that would be in US dollars, because the Chinese are swimming in them. And looking about for a shore to land on.
The CIC is like a Politburo-owned Warren Buffet. They have plunked lots of dollars in this fund and can dump more in any time they want. Getting Dollars into the fund is not the problem. It is how fast can they get the damned Bucks out without trashing the value and drubbing their own reserve in a Megan Fox-sized bathtub. So, buying top-of-the-heap (I chose my words carefully) US companies seems like the next best thing after over-printing Dollars with Yuans or, maybe, feeding them into a bonfire.
Do you hear the Republican shouting of "Socialism" about this CIC Sovereign Wealth Fund?
No. But relax, they're already Communists, which is like the Barry Bonds of Socialists. They make TBO look like Sarah Palin. Except smart. And it's not like it's the Red Army buying up the Yankees or something.
Personally, I think the latest news puts this CIC business into a cheerful perspective. Sure, the idea that the Chinese may end up owning all of Walmart is intimidating, but CIC has also been buying up shards of Citi, Morgan Stanley and Bank of America, which, among other things,will let the Chinese speak freely about making their cherished hope of making The First Dude into The First Lad.
Maybe that free speech angle isn't great, but you know what trumps it all?
Guess who has to ask the Chinese Communist Party for their Billion Dollar Bonus payouts?
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