Stop With the Scouting Trip Stuff!

Angelina Jolie was in Haiti last Wednesday.  Not everyone hid their children under rubble.

Gelina was there without her better-name-half, reportedly checking out the adoptee pool. She was in the Dominican Republic part of the island the day before, but those kids all have good jobs in T-shirt factories.

Besides, her visit was official.  Gelina is an ambassador of goodwill for the UN, Americans having a such surfeit of that for the UN.  She had to visit a quota of medical facilities, housed in smaller-than-Cirque tents, as part of her mission.  She went to villages that care for newly orphaned Haitians youngsters, many seriously hurt in God's Pat-Robertson-Approved Retribution (but we've covered that).

One boy, who had lost a leg, laughed out loud about some goofy book he was reading.  At least, Gelina thought it was, but she hadn't read Sarah Palin's work before.

Many of you may mock Gelina's jaunts around the world adopting locals.  But I don't care what her reasons are.  She goes where most of us won't even catch on the Discovery Third World Channel.  She is a big star, played Lara Croft twice and could simply do her nails in Hollywood if she and her party-of-the-first-part-name could stand the place full time.  Now that you mention it, she is perfect for my latest screenplay, too.

Unlike Americans, most folks in the underdeveloped world did not see "Changling" and don't worry she'll lose or even take their children.  She is also beautiful with a smile any kid would remember well beyond next week's dinner.

Does anybody accuse Bill Gates of using his Foundation's good work to get Africa addicted to Windows Mobile OS?  Well, all right, but that was before.

So lay off Gelina.  She, that smile and her heart at least end up in the right places.  So, last Wednesday?  I was here in Naples, pretty damned close to Haiti.  Where were you?

What snow?

Fiction Purveyor Unfairly Sued by Bradgelina

The News of the World, the major British tabloid, is being sued by Bradgelina.  It printed a story claiming that the photogenic superduperstar twosome were (this being in England) headed for two onesomes and were dividing up their very charming moniker, very handsome bank accounts and very international children.

Every important and respected media outlet in the United States and People Magazine immediately reported on the report, the fact of the report itself being worthy of reporting.

You would think that Brad and Angelina, who kicked each other's butts in "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", would be getting in some stretches in preparation of a rebuttal, but they have kids now.  Instead, their representatives stated emphatically that the story of the impending breakup was not, is not, all that accurate.  They asked for an apology and, maybe a few hundred million pounds (which are more than dollars any day). 

Did News of the World do the right thing?  Ha!

Now, Bradgelina's Brit lawyers are doing the pleading.  On parchment.  With wigs.

I'm sorry, but, in my view, Brad and Angelina are being daft nits.  The News of the World is owned by Rupert Murdock, for God's sake.  The same guy who owns FOX News and almost every tabloid that ever printed a photo of a martian baby with a tattoo that looked like Jesus Christ.

Surely, a couple so super that they only need one name can have only one opinion about this.

It's Murdock.  It's fiction.  Option the rights.

(Uh.  Did I mention I do screenplays, too?)