Gulf Boom Starts Monday

Things have been hard along the Gulf Coast, especially for shrimpers and slip-and-fall lawyers.

Oil slicks on the beach are causing thousands to fall onto the sands of Nothern Gulf Coast beaches.  Injuries are mostly benign, but everyone just sends BP an email for compensation.  Don't need a lawyer for that.

The shrimpers are another story.  Sure they can get money from BP, too.  Many have augmented their income selling Drill Babies(tm) and Drill Baby Accessories, often with a dozen free gulf shrimp slipped in.

The Big O forced Lady O and the kids to spend time down on the Gulf recently instead of some extra days in Spain or on Martha's Vinyard. TBO wanted the world to see that you can still vacation on the Gulf.  Uh.  With TBO's credibility swimming in the nearby port-o-john, that may make things worse.

This Blog has spent some time studying "Mad Men", Season One, and has conjoured a solution worthy of whoever Don Draper actually is.

No, neither sexual daliances, top shelf bourbon nor cartons of Luckies were involved.  (And damn it.)

What seafood is better than deed-fried shrimp?  Seriously?  Fried clams or crabs may be as good, but better?  Fish Sticks (even the "South Park" brand)? No way.

But Gulf shrimp, usually at 200 million pounds a year, are losing out to shrimp from China (big surprise) and Thailand.

Thailand?  Isn't that the place where political dissent is written in a way that inspired the cranky new American Blood Party?  Really. Dissent. Written. In blood. On your house. Like Red John in "The Mentalist", but without the cute smiley face or less cute body bags.

To counter this loss of business, the Gulf Shrimp industry needs a new, pithy, Don Draper-style marketing slogan.  And no waiting for the art department to get back from their olive-spiked lunch this time.

Here it is:

No Extra Oil Needed! (tm)

Quick, Betty.  Fire up the deep fryer.

No extra thanks needed, either.