A Rave in Transparency Falls

From Dispatches Sent Completely Out of Sequence

In many societies, a Rave is a huge, unauthorized, necessarily secret, wall-to-wall crush of X-fueled dancing, shouting and carrying on, with bowls full of Ruffies. Some are held in out-of-the-way places like unused tunnels or shuttered factories, but most are on TV. Finding out about a Rave in advance is nearly impossible if you are over 23 or think “sexting” is Latin for pretty much anything done in groups of six.

Indeed, almost everybody at such a Rave is about 20, except for the Big Security Guys (BSG’s) who may be as old as 25. The music is so loud that all intelligent conversation is checked at the door and the whump-whump-whump of the beat rivals the sound of California setting sail for Hawaii.

Beer kegs are tapped by guys who can not dance a lick and would otherwise be shunned. Buckets of bodily fluid, much of it beer-related, are lost and much fun is had by all and barely remembered the next day.

Well, in Transparency Falls, the Raves are almost a complete secret with a single invitation, the emailing of which is banned. Most attendees are older than 23 and do things in groups of six. Or maybe, it is five. The Raves are very small and they are called Privy Council Meetings. Privies and their favored advisors, called Crats, prefer to hold the Raves in sterile rooms, located as far as possible from Fallguy population centers, because that leaves lots of room for the empty chairs.

(Yes, there are plenty of what one might call Fallgals, but the Transparency Falls Some Equal Rights Amendment eliminated that term and forgot to replace it.)

Privy Council Meetings are not about ecstasy or music, but dancing aplenty is always heard if not seen. Some Crats have combined the skills of the keg-tap whilst dancing, an art referred to as... really neat.

Since crowds are not cheek to cheek, only a lone BSG is even on call. The only whump-whump-whumping is taken by Fallguys who are dumb enough to raise their hands. Probably just to go to the bathroom for a cigarette.

Anyone who leaves the Rave early, bathroom or no, usually misses the crescendo that defines the Rave. The Crats' special style of dancing, mentioned earlier, grows so intense as to become virtually impossible to follow.

Thank God for FallTube, the online site for hysterically funny Transparency Falls videos.

It may not sound like it, but at Transparency Falls Raves, much fun is had by almost all. And the intelligent conversation?

Come on. It’s called a Rave.