GOP to Cut Pi Day by 4.5%?

Or maybe a little more than 4.50703%.

Pi Day (March 14th for those who read other blogs) went by this year with nary a circular blogument.  Fortunately, some types never forget.  The Republicans are celebrating by legislating Pi to 3.000000000.  No more of Pi's endless decimal point extensions, like it was a national debt or something.

The GOP say,"We want it to be an even 3."

This without a hint of irony.

Why?  Well our kids are too stupid to handle all those decimal places, even with all their iPhone apps and endless Facebook Friends to help.

Martha Roby, a Republican Congressperson from Alabama, is the intellectual force behind HR 205.  This bill seeks to simplify geometry, which was pretty much Greek anyway, but before they went broke.  In fact, Martha probably figures (if she does such things) that all that complicated Greek stuff caused their debt crisis.

"Endless numbers are hard to follow," she would likely say.  "Like the Chinese."

Democrats, rightly for a change, seem to fear Gobal Warming will be replaced by Global Ovaling. Or, worse, Global Egging.  That is really hard to clean up.

House Speaker John Boehner, with a name like a German physist to give him at least some gravitas, warned that circles are too complicated and that the French may soon be smarter than American 5th graders.  Boehner's state, Ohio, was laid out in straight lines and is way easier to understand than elitist Massachusetts with all those circular rotaries that some poor drivers went around more than Pi times looking for SSE.

And the best early approximation of Pi was made by Archimedes, from a town named Syracuse, from before Jimmy Brown or the Final Four.  Yes, you non-elitists, the guy in the bathtub.

Again, Greek.

Argue all you want, but at least the unafraid John and Martha will replace that ridiculously hard π thing.  "3" is something any American high schoolers can draw, unless California takes back their pencils.

Now, students, try to figure out when the hell will Pi Day be honored.

Post script:  It turns out the story was not entirely true, being mostly a hoax by some lame columnist (not a blogger).  Republicans are running, yes, in circles trying to find out what part was untrue.