It's Healthcare Yet Again and It's Huge

I didn't bring it up, The Big O did.  He didn't say anything substantive about it, just that he hasn't given up on those two incompatible bills waiting in Congress for Big Brown to get seated and, then, to stop talking.  TBO and the Congressional bills will force Universal Healthcare Insurance Coverage by 2030 or a year after the melting of the Himalayan Glaciers, whichever is later.

Those bills, I believe, will require that you buy health insurance from Blue Cross or some other insurance company, unless you are a CEO, a union welder or a direct descendant of a Congressman.

The bills don't do any of the things that TBO had promised when he and that other guy really had to make serious promises, but the bills sound like they do.  One great thing, I believe both bills, allow only one precondition--honest, only one--insurance companies can use to bar you from getting that nice $600 a month policy.

One precondition:  Being born with Original Sin.

Sound tough?  Yeah, well, let 'em prove you were...

I'll be damned.  I just read both bills cover-to-cover and it looks like we have to prove we weren't.

So, if Congress' idea of Universal Healthcare won't cut it, what is TBO to do with all us uninsured and now pretty much uninsurable?

As usual, I think I have the answer.  Create a Healthcare Universal Group Endowment, an independent Federal Entity (a word we use when we don't know what something is), like the Post Office, but with no pretense of offering services.  HUGE would then hire all the uninsured to work for it for $100 a month, tax free.  Wait, don't scoff just yet.  Give them Senator-level health care insurance, too.  (Except illegals and their children, who probably make more than $100 dollars a month already.  The children, I mean.  They can still go to any nearby ER.)

One last thing:  You join up with HUGE or you go to jail in Kansas.

What would someone like me do at HUGE?  Wait on the beach by my cell phone in case I get a call ordering me into Public Service.  Whatever that is.  Oh, I forgot, being a Senator is Public Service.  I can do that and without a Blackberry playing K-Street stripper videos during TBO speeches.

I suppose I could negotiate with our local hospital or clinic for better prices for all us HUGE employees.  Or hammer the Medicine Shop up the street down to Walmart drug prices.  I'd do both for $100 nano-bucks (definition coming tomorrow)!

To be completely truthful (this once), I didn't come up with this alone.  A faithful reader of this blog suggested just moving everyone to Massachusetts and use their Commonwealth Operation Massachusetts Merciful Insurance Endowment universal healthcare system.  That is a great idea and COMMIE works great, only Boston is too expensive a place to live already. So I tweaked her modest idea a little into my HUGE concept.

It was pretty tough, actually.  I had to arbitrarily reverse the order of "Healthcare" and "Universal".  And what is an "Endowment"?

Still, HUGE goes COMMIE one better by using Federal Prison as encouragement to participate.  It is surely government at its best.  And, paraphrasing Mrs. TBO, For the first time, I am proud to be a soon-to-be-insured American.

State of the Union: What's Missing?

The State of the Union speech is a piece of dreck that the Constitution seems to inflict on the President of the United States, ready or not.  Maybe not every week, but from time to time.  I am quite sure that George Washington (George I, if you are counting) did not give the speech in Prime Time, preempting far more informative or entertaining stuff.  Maybe, it started with TV.  More's the pity.

My favorite current President, The Big O (TBO, to his ADHD followers) gave his first one tonight.  I'm sure he said things no one has dared say before, chanted "jobs, jobs, jobs" twice and sang "Tiny Real Estate Bubbles" in Hawaiian. Maybe I was in the kitchen opening a box of wine.

Republicans must surely have very sore asses right now, but their hands were occupied with their Canadian Blackberry's getting cures from K-Street.  The Democrats applauded more and stood up, too, but wished they were having dinner with a lobbyist and his pretty blond escort.

TBO, in the end, was right.  Americans are not convinced.  We are pulling together, as if under water, all fifty states, a few territories, probably Puerto Rico.  There's one big hole, though.  If you look on Google Earth, you'll see it, stuck between Virginia and Maryland.  Aside from the Potomac and a couple thousand limos, it is simply empty, a void.

Try and count the number of useful Representatives and Senators, Justices and Presidents. Wait, let me try.  With both hands in my Honduran-fabricated pants pockets and my toes securely in some Indonesian-made sneakers.

Wow, that was quick.  I'm done.  How about you?